My doctor prescribed the drug to treat my epilepsy and I was terrified of relapsing. But I won't lie. I was also a little bit excited at the idea of a freelapse.

“For me the idea that you can sit passively by while some Higher Power does all the heavy lifting for you is the essence of addiction.”

But seriously, have you been 5150’d more times than you’ve been to Whole Foods? No? Get a real problem and then we’ll talk.

Even medical people are treating you like a second-class citizen. Is this really about ringworm or is this reminding you of what it’s like to be a person with addiction?

There’s a point where I was no longer surprised at where I would click out of a blackout: zoo, hospital, car wreckages, sex…Don’t get me wrong, I had A LOT OF FUN.

For the first time since I can remember, I feel really committed to something. I am committed to never getting arrested again, which means staying sober and controlling my temper.

“It’s only by the grace of God that I’m sober.” So the big wizard in the sky is too involved in keeping you drink and drug-free to keep the rest of us on the straight and narrow, huh?

“Cleaner Daze” is a digital darkly comedic digital series about a fictional juvenile drug treatment center in Santa Cruz, CA called The Cliffs. It is directed by Tess Sweet and written by Sweet and her “normie” husband Daniel Gamblin.

If somebody needs to call themselves a die-hard dopefiend so they don’t forget where they came from, let them.

I just felt like shit and slept as much as I could. I showed up to work. I kept my commitments. I spoke when asked to, but I felt more than unhappy. I felt like I just didn’t care.

Anger can be an addiction: it's energizing and makes you feel powerful. When I was using and even afterwards, I used my rage to control, bully, and manipulate people.

In a world where nothing is in my control and living with a head that constantly tells me I’m not doing enough, exercising every day makes me feel like I’ve checked a box.

I won’t lie, the urge to fix from the outside is constant. The helplessness is overwhelming, the grief indescribable.

Underneath the biochemical hook that made me an addict is other issues: I’m needy. I want love. I’m lonely. I want to connect.

Credit scores don't seem super important when your kid/friend/wife can’t keep a needle out of her arm or a knife away from her wrists.

Patient brokers know there's more money in relapse than in getting people sober.